GoWags to implement Excellence Tax

Below is the 2012 income tax brackets and rates. The more you make. The more you pay. Nothing new here. I didn’t say nothing wrong here. I said nothing new here. It’s called a progressive tax. Progressive taxes attempt to reduce the tax incidence of people with a lower ability-to-pay, as they shift the incidence increasingly to those with a higher ability-to-pay.

Year 2012 income brackets and tax rates

Marginal Tax Rate Single Married Filing Jointly or Qualified Widow(er) Married Filing Separately Head of Household
10% $0 – $8,700 $0 – $17,400 $0 – $8,700 $0 – $12,400
15% $8,701 – $35,350 $17,401 – $70,700 $8,701 – $35,350 $12,401 – $47,350
25% $35,351 – $85,650 $70,701 – $142,700 $35,351 – $71,350 $47,351 – $122,300
28% $85,651 – $178,650 $142,701 – $217,450 $71,351 – $108,725 $122,301 – $198,050
33% $178,651 – $388,350 $217,451 – $388,350 $108,726 – $194,175 $198,051 – $388,350
35% $388,351+ $388,351+ $194,176+ $388,351+

After looking at this table, GoWags has decided to implement an Excellence Tax on all parents whose kids hit over .300 and have an ERA of under 3.00

Look. We know that your child has shown an interest in baseball and you’ve decided to encourage it. That’s awesome. We also recognize that you are willing to make a financial commitment in your son’s development. Deliberate practice doesn’t just happen, right? Your son is becoming a better player this winter. And, the fruits of his labor will be evident as he takes the field this spring. Higher batting averages, faster pitching velocity, more power, more awareness, better body language. He’s a GoWags sponge and it’s going to show.

But, we’ve decided to tax you if your child does too well. It’s not fair to those kids who aren’t willing to make the commitment your child has. Hope you understand.

Those players not committed and thus hitting less than .300 or an ERA over 3.00 will receive a direct payout from GoWags for 96 weeks as a safety net that they don’t feel too badly about their performance.  After all, its not their fault that they are not committed.

Sincerely,

Bret Wagner

For those readers sarcastically challenged, that’s a joke.

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  1. #1 by Bob G on February 18, 2012 - 4:26 am

    What…no comments?

    Tax the hustlers, the committed, the skilled, in order to provide a more equal playing field. There’s nothing that teaches and inspires like free hand outs.

    Seriously though, I’m surprised no one has suggested that not every family can afford specialty training for their children, and therefore they have less opportunity for development. I would give that kid a GoWags discount AFTER seeing their cable, cell phone, and video game bill.

  2. #2 by Scott Davenport on February 19, 2012 - 5:36 pm

    Well done!

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